How I handled my curly hair crisis

I have been battling my curly hair for probably about 15 years. As a kid, I absolutely hated what were actually perfect little cork screws (and 100x better than what I have now.) In elementary school I decided to chop it all off and besides looking like a boy, it also looked awful for years while it was growing back. And when it did finally grow back, it was never as nice as those cork screws. Some parts are really curly, some parts are mostly frizz and it’s got the texture of basically wire.

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( if only I appreciated this hair back then)
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(what my hair looked like today)

Over the years, I have paid hundreds on relaxers, chemical straighteners, haircuts, products, etc. Unfortunately, no chemical stood a chance against these curly locks and I repeatedly found myself back at square one. And when it comes to haircuts, I had my fair share of awful ones. Most hairdressers just can’t handle my hair but they never want to admit it. They see me as a white, Italian girl and think ‘Oh, no big deal’ but once they get their hands on this thick mane, it’s nothing like they expected. Because of that, I have been subjected to the triangle haircut for way too long.

In order to try and feel somewhat pretty, I would dedicate hours to flat ironing and further killing my hair. Because of that, my hair has been the same length for at least 5 years. And when you have thick, huge, curly hair any length above chest level is really just too short. So in an effort to finally fix the mop laying on my head, I did some research on what products, styles, and hairdressers would be the best. Here is what I’ve come up with:

1. Deva Curl
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Shampoo (aka “no poo”) & conditioner – Their products are designed specifically for curly hair. They take the idea of “sulfate free” and step it up ten notches. I was skeptical at first, but the “no poo” does a good job actually cleaning your scalp while also moisturizing and then the conditioner really softens it up. A normal size bottle is about $10 at a beauty supply store but if you buy them online they can range from $8 all the way to $39 for a 32 oz bottle. That’s crazy, I know, but try and find someone with a beauty license who will go to a supplier for you. It will save you a fortune.
The haircut – You do not need to go to the official DevaChan salon in Manhattan to get the benefits of the haircut. I really considered it but the prices are outrageous. If you go on their website, you can search for trained Deva Curl stylists in your area. I found one near my school and ended up paying $75 instead of hundreds. (I read a review where someone paid $180 to get their hair cut by a jr. stylist!!!) The Deva Curl cut is done on dry hair and each curl is cut individually. This helps take away that triangle look because very curly hair should never ever be one length and being cut dry takes away the risk of it being much shorter than you anticipated.
I never tie my hair up in a towel anymore, instead I scrunch it dry with the Deva Towel, but a t-shirt will do the job just as well. I’ve found that this alone really helps the shape and minimizes frizz.

2. Miss Jessie’s
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After years of searching, I think I have finally found the holy grail of hair gels. Miss Jessie’s is made for naturally curly, hard to handle hair. If I could meet Miss Jessie I would kiss her right on the mouth.

I apply the ‘Multicultural Curls’ lotion first (on damp hair) and then the ‘Jelly Soft Curls’ gel. These products are usually found in the “ethnic hair” section of the grocery store because for some reason, other products are targeted at the idea that all white people have baby soft hair. I am living proof that that is a big fat lie. So venture into the ethnic section and rejoice at real curly hair products. Miss Jessie’s is on the expensive side but for me it’s been worth it. The gel is $14 and the lotion is $16 but the bottles can stretch for about a month or so and if you want to give the products a trial run first, you can buy $2 packets on their website.
My hair is still a work in progress. I’ve been trying to not use a straightener on it so that it will hopefully finally grow (fingers crossed) and I do a coconut oil hair mask a few times a month. I basically wake up every morning and have no idea what my hair will look like that day – as I’m sure anyone with crazy curly hair understands – but I’m learning to finally embrace the lion’s mane I was born with.

False confessions & the Central Park Five


Have you ever heard of a “false confession”? I had heard the term before but never truly understood what it meant. I thought, ‘why would someone confess to something they didn’t actually do?’ I don’t think I would be wrong to assume that most people think that way as well.

I’m taking a forensic linguistics class where we learn about the different aspects of language in a criminal setting (threats, bribery, confessions, etc.) and yesterday in class we learned that people do actually confess to things they didn’t do. And it happens way more often than would think.

There is one case in particular regarding false confessions that stood out and really effected me: The Central Park Jogger case of 1989.

Five young boys (ages 14-16) were picked up for causing trouble one night in Central Park. But when news came in that a woman was found who had been brutally beaten and raped while jogging, the police quickly pointed their fingers at the boys. They denied being involved, saying they didn’t even know what the police were talking about. The police lied to each boy saying that the others were blaming him. They even said that there was evidence against one of them even though the evidence found at the scene (i.e the semen) did not match any of the boys. But the police wanted someone to blame. This was a crime in Central Park, a place that people thought of as safe and peaceful.

central park five 2They saw these boys for what they were: young, naive, and scared and they convinced them that if they confessed to the crime they could go home. At this point they had been interrogated for hours and were exhausted. The only thing they wanted was to go home. So they did what they were told: they regurgitated the story the police fed to them. They were saying names that the police told them of boys they didn’t even know. One of them said that if they had given him 100 names, he would have wrote down that 100 people were there with him that night.

But instead of going home, they were arrested and charged with the rape and attempted murder of the woman.

In court, they boys plead not guilty. There was no physical evidence to tie them to being there and I even read a report that two of the doctors who treated the woman said that her wounds were not consistent with the boys’ account of the attack. However, there was the confessions. The jury thought the same way most people thought, if they confessed then they did it. They were found guilty.

The four youngest boys, Antron McCray, Kevin Richardson, Raymond Santana and Yusef Salaam served six to seven years in juvenile detention centers while Korey Wise, who was 16 and tried as an adult, served 13 years in actual prison.

Shortly after the case, another man, Matias Reyes, was arrested in New York City for a number of rapes and one murder of a pregnant woman. Thirteen years later, while in prison with Wise, he came forward as the actual rapist. When the evidence that had sat unidentified for years was tested, it turned out it was his.

2012 NYC Doc Festival Closing Night Screening Of "The Central Park Five"
(From left) Korey Wise, Antron McCray, Kevin Richardson, Raymond Santana and Yusef Salaam

The men filed a lawsuit against the city and were each awarded a large sum of money for the years they served but as you can imagine, after 13 years these boys were not the same and no amount of money could ever get them that time back. They were not the innocent 14, 15, and 16 year olds anymore. They had done real time for a crime they did not commit. Santana even did time later in life for drug charges after not being able to get a real job or even function the same way after getting out of the juvenile detention center. His sentence for the drug charges was much longer than it normally would have been because he had a record.

There is a documentary, The Central Park Five, released in 2012 about the case. (The trailer is at the top of this article) I urge everyone to take the time to watch it – it’s on Netflix. This is a story that has completely broken my heart and I don’t know if I will ever get over it. Hearing about this has made me want to do something; help in some way, any way possible.

The fact that this is not the only case where this has happened is the most outrageous part. This is happening everyday. Here, in America. It needs to be stopped.

Juno

The late January ‘blizzard of 2015′ canceled the first two days of classes for my spring semester. It also left my roommates and myself basically trapped in our dorm watching Orange is the New Black for an embarrassing number of hours. But today we’re left with piles of snow and ice to trudge through on our way to classes and work.

I always try to convince myself that winter ends when January does but in reality this is usually when we get the worst of it. Wishful thinking on my part I guess.

Even though I was glad to have two extra days vacation, I’m excited to get back into the swing of things. And also begin the hectic search for a summer internship.

Starting the new semester

It’s that time of year where winter break is quickly coming to an end and I must pack my things and leave home again. I’m excited to start this new semester and hopefully do as well as I did in the fall. I’ll be taking some interesting classes that I’m very excited for (i.e. magazine production and forensic linguistics!!) but I’m still feeling a little sad about leaving. Although it does get easier, it’s still bittersweet to say goodbye to your parents, your pets, your own bed. You say goodbye to one home and say hello to another. No matter how hard or frustrating the process of school can be, it is all in the name of bettering yourself…right?

Long distance love

Being in a long distance relationship is one of the hardest things I have ever done and it has also been the most rewarding.

When you are in a relationship, especially in the beginning, you want to be together all the time. Be it a romantic night out or a lazy night in or just running errands, you want to have your significant other right there with you. When you live in two different states, it’s really tough. You miss them all the time. And every time you do get the chance to see them, you miss them even more after they leave than you did before. I feel like I could cry for days after ending a weekend with my boyfriend, but it’s all worth it.

Nothing teaches you to appreciate someone for all that they are more than distance does. When you don’t have the ability to call them up any random night of the week to hang out, you cherish the moments you get together so much more. Long distance relationships teach you to grow and be independent on your own but also allow you to grow strong together.

There are days when all you can think about is your significant other and you may stop wanting to go out to parties or bars without them by your side. Thankfully, with all the technology we have today, it’s possible to text all day and Skype or Facetime.

It’s hard and you have to get creative to make things work but I have never been happier. I didn’t know I could have such a strong bond with someone who is states away, but I do. I wouldn’t trade that love for anything and I know that one day when we finally live in the same place, all of the hard times will be worth it.

Student loans

As a student who unfortunately doesn’t have the luxury of getting their college tuition payed for, I am constantly worrying about how I’ll pay back all of my loans. When I graduate I’ll be well over $100,000 going into a field where people rarely make that much.

I tell myself the education I’m getting is worth it but I’m starting to second guess that.

I recently wrote an article about this for The Long Island Report; if you’re interested, give it a read and please share your thoughts.